Am I Being Gaslit by My Partner? Recognising Signs and Taking Steps towards Healing

Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic that can be deeply damaging to one’s emotional well-being, especially within a relationship.   As a coach, I have witnessed the devastating effects of gaslighting on individuals going through relationship struggles. In this blog, I aim to shed light on gaslighting, help you recognize its signs, and provide guidance on how to address the issue and begin your journey toward healing.

  1. Understanding Gaslighting: Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where one partner distorts the other’s reality and undermines their perception of the truth. It is a manipulative tactic used to gain control and power. Recognising gaslighting is crucial for breaking free from its harmful effects and rebuilding a healthy sense of self.
  2. Recognizing Signs of Gaslighting: Gaslighting can be subtle, making it challenging to identify when you are experiencing it.


Here are some common signs to watch out for:-

  1. Dismissing your feelings and experiences: Your partner may trivialize your emotions, invalidate your concerns, or downplay the impact of their actions on you, making you question the validity of your emotions.
  2.  Constantly contradicting or denying your version of events: Gaslighters often twist facts, revise history, or flat-out deny things that have occurred, causing confusion and self-doubt.
  3.  Blaming and shifting responsibility: Gaslighters deflect blame onto their partner, making them question their actions and believe they are responsible for problems in the relationship, even when it’s not true.
  4.  Creating a sense of instability: Gaslighters may intentionally create chaos, inconsistency, and unpredictability to keep their partner off balance and more susceptible to manipulation.
  5. Undermining your self-esteem: Gaslighters use tactics to erode your self-confidence, such as making demeaning comments, criticizing your abilities, or comparing you unfavourably to others.

Taking Steps Towards Healing

Seeking Support and Validation:

If you suspect you are being gaslit, it is crucial to reach out for support. Gaslighting can make you feel isolated and question your own reality. Find a trusted friend, family member, or professional, such as a divorce myself, who can provide validation, guidance, and an objective perspective. They can help you gain clarity, recognize unhealthy patterns, and offer support as you navigate through this challenging situation.

Setting Boundaries and Asserting Yourself:

When confronting gaslighting behavior, setting and enforcing clear boundaries is essential. Communicate your concerns assertively and assert your right to your feelings and experiences. Practice self-compassion and remind yourself that your emotions and perceptions are valid. It may be necessary to distance yourself from the gaslighter temporarily or seek professional help if the situation does not improve.

Prioritising Self-Care and Healing:
Recovering from gaslighting takes time and self-care. Focus on activities that bring you joy and promote emotional well-being. Rebuild your self-esteem and self-trust by engaging in self-reflection and positive affirmations. Consider seeking the support of myself who can guide you through the healing process and help you develop healthier relationship dynamics moving forward.


  1. Gaslighting is a destructive form of emotional abuse that can have long-lasting effects on your well-being and self-esteem. Recognising the signs of gaslighting is the first step towards reclaiming your truth and healing. By seeking support, setting boundaries, and prioritising self-care, you can break free from the cycle of manipulation and build healthier relationships founded on trust and respect. Remember, you deserve to be in a partnership where your emotions and experiences are valued and validated. As a coach, I am here to support you on your journey toward healing and empowerment. Remember that you are not alone, and there are resources available to help you through this challenging time.
  2. Gaslighting is a serious issue that can have a significant impact on your well-being, but by recognising the signs and taking steps to address it, you can begin to regain control over your life. Trust yourself and your instincts, and don’t hesitate to reach out for my assistance if needed.
  3. In the process of divorce or separation, it is crucial to work with professionals who understand the dynamics of gaslighting and emotional abuse. I can provide guidance, support, and strategies to help you navigate the legal, emotional, and practical aspects of your situation.
  4. Remember, healing takes time, and it is essential to prioritise self-care throughout the process. Surround yourself with a supportive network of friends, family, and professionals who can uplift and validate your experiences. Be patient with yourself as you rediscover your worth and rebuild your self-esteem.
  5. While the journey may be challenging, know that you have the strength within you to overcome the effects of gaslighting and create a brighter future for yourself. By recognizing the signs, seeking support, setting boundaries, and prioritizing your well-being, you are taking powerful steps toward healing and reclaiming your truth.
  6. You deserve to be in a relationship built on trust, respect, and mutual understanding. As a coach, I am here to support you as you navigate this difficult journey and empower you to create a new chapter in your life filled with happiness, authenticity, and personal growth.
  7. Remember, you are not defined by the gaslighting you experienced. Your resilience and courage will guide you towards a brighter and more fulfilling future. Embrace the opportunity for self-discovery, and know that you are worthy of love, respect, and happiness.


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Copyright JH DivorceCoach

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